Paltrow is Wrong, Jolie is Right, And Moms Rule

Millions of women struggle every day with mommyhood. We struggle to make sure we are giving our children proper nutrition, to make sure we are spending the right amount of time with our children, to educate them. We help teach them to read, write, clean their rooms, do their homework and generally become good, productive adults. All of this while most moms are holding down a job, or maybe two.

But Hollywood and celebrities continue to propagate myths about us. Hollywood moms are making out of touch comments that do not reflect our reality. Some, like Gwyneth Paltrow, are so far gone that they think they are the ones who have it hardest. She said it’s much easier for moms who work in an office than it is for her. She also added “I think to have a regular job and be a mom is not as – of course there are challenges, but it’s not like being on set.”

Then there was Emma Thompson. “You can’t be a great mum and keep working all the time,” she said recently, stirring up her own controversy. Look, I stayed at home with my children when they were very young and I think it was very beneficial, but I understand I was lucky to have that choice. If only Hollywood moms realized not everyone has it.

We see these moms with what seems to be “having it all together” They supposedly balance motherhood, ideal schedules and working with ease and grace. The real shame is that we average moms buy into this idea that it’s because they are better moms than we are. The reality is we don’t have chefs, nutritionists, meal planners, personal trainers, nannies. We can’t take our kids to the office. And forget about trying to shop until they are at least thirteen. Then begins a whole new set of rules. It doesn’t help that good, healthy foods are twice as expensive as a bag of chips, so sometimes when you need to choose between the electric bill and strawberries, well now the real guilt sets in.

There is one celebrity who gets all of this, though. In an interview with The New York Daily News, Angelina Jolie says “I’m not a single mom with two jobs trying to get by every day. I have much more support than most people, most women in this world. And I have the financial means to have a home and health care and food.” Her message to parents who are well off is stop complaining.

Maybe if more celebrities stepped up and said “yeah, I’ve got all this good stuff and help. I have the means and money. But I respect you. Don’t try to be like me. Don’t stress yourself out. Just do what you can and be you.” Maybe this would relieve a lot of anxiety, frustration, and sometimes a feeling of failure for many women. Maybe young mothers just starting out would be encouraged instead of discouraged, feel proud instead of inadequate, and maybe even raise their goals.

“I actually feel that women in my position, when we have all at our disposal to help us, shouldn’t complain,” said Andgelina Jolie. “Consider all the people who really struggle and don’t have the financial means, don’t have the support, and many people are single raising children. That’s hard.” That’s right, it’s hard. But it’s important, it’s worth it, and it is its own reward.

Thank you, Ms. Jolie. Not just for getting it, but for encouraging it. Hopefully your words will reach women, wealthy or not, and make them feel good that someone with a big voice is speaking for them.


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