Who won? Trump touts online polls, Luntz focus group and CNN says Hillary

by SooperMexican

The first debate is over, and as expected, Trump is declaring victory because his online army of trolls are mobbing every online poll to make it appear that he won, just like in the primaries:

Yeah, except Donald Trump could literally drop a big steamy pile of Sean Hannity in his pants, pass out in a pool of his own blood and other bodily fluids, and the Drudge and Breitbart polls would still have him winning. So I’m not sure they’re terribly accurate.

On the other hand, CNN has a poll that shows Hillary won:

And Frank Luntz ran a focus group where a majority said Hillary won:

We ran our own online poll, and were smothered by the Trump online army.

Krauthammer said Trump did well… sorta. Here’s more analysis from Fox News, which seems to fit with the idea that he did decently but Hillary edged him out:

So basically, if you’re a Trumpendejo you think he destroyed Hillary, if you’re a Hillary-zombie you think she destroyed Trump, and everyone else kinda thinks Hillary did slightly better.

I can give you three signs that he lost. One, the online Trumpers are screaming angry at Lester Holt for not doing Trump’s job because he was too lazy and stupid to do it himself. Secondly, Rudy Giuliani is saying Trump shouldn’t do any more debates – surely a sign that he’s afraid he’ll screw the other two up. Finally, Trump always makes excuses when he fails – this time he’s saying that they messed with his microphone. Yeah, sure buddy, that’s what made you screw up your debate, of course!!


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