Tonight, the theorizing at CNN on the possible culprits in the case of the missing Malaysian jet reached new levels of hyperbolic hypothesizing.
“What if it was something, fully, that we don’t really understand,” conjectures host Don Lemon.
“I know it’s preposterous,” Lemon adds for credibility. “But is it preposterous,” he then inexplicably argues back at himself.
As reported in this space before, CNN has become a virtual gravity well for speculation in this story, and this latest example really crosses the theoretical event horizon. In addition to the possibility of ravenous, rampaging black holes combing the oceans for jets to eat, Lemon floats the idea that maybe the jet got Twilight Zoned or Bermuda Triangled.
This .. is CNN.
Lemon cites as the source of these groundbreaking and serious theories two tweets. Two very grown-up and analytical tweets that are super for real.
— Deji (@dejideremi) March 19, 2014
— noha elbony (@oosheene) March 19, 2014
But it can’t be that, we are assured, as Lemon’s guest Mary Schiavo tells us that even a small black hole would “suck in our entire universe.”
Whew. Glad that’s settled. Now we can get back to what really happened.