Donna Brazile: Obama’s Not A Dictator, He Doesn’t Even HAVE A Mustache!!

Today on Twitter, CNN contributor and political analyst Donna Brazile has gone above and beyond the call of duty in asserting the righteousness of President Obama. Twitchy noted her first burst of the absurd this morning:

Got that? Mr. President, YOU’RE HOME ALONE!! Put some paint cans on strings, order a pizza and let’s do this. If those mean old republicans come back, ooh we are going make them slip on marbles so HARD!!

But that wasn’t the end of Brazile’s tweetnanigans. No, she then reacted to people reacting to her reactions:

To which we got this hilarious retort:

Oh the humanity. Brazile couldn’t stop now. In for a penny, in for a pound and all that. She decided to lay to rest all the mockery and just boil it down to the straight facts, thereby proving her point finally and fully using logic and good sense and ba ha ha ha ha h aha ha h haha aaaaaah:

DO YOU SEE?? Dictators don’t HAVE to act. Because they are dictators!! If that doesn’t make perfect sense to you, then I don’t know what bubble bath your window has a churning wombat skillet.

And we continue …

Going to prom alone? Yes that is EXACTLY the same. I remember fondly at my prom when we would all vote on legislation but then that kid Maynard would show up with his mom and it was all delays for big business and roughshod alteration of our carefully enacted Pizza Friday plans. Good times.

Right. People aren’t talking about abuse of executive power because it goes against the very constitutional nature of our nation or shows a blatant disregard and disrespect for the rule of law. No, it’s because he COULDN’T GET A DATE. This metaphor is so bad it’s hard to even follow when you’re just making jokes about it. I wish I had a date to this post. That would make it easier.

But see, now it all comes together in a neat little package with a pretty prom bow on it. You can’t be overstepping your bounds if you’re doing it to be nice! It’s like that nice man at the subway the other day who robbed me. If he hadn’t, I might have bought a soda that WAS TOO BIG. Thank God for good samaritans!!

I gather that she was now finished making her devastating case, so I can only assume the following was sort of like dropping the mic.

Stop being against what you’re against, and start being for what you’re for. Also, stop being as tall as you are and start being as short as you aren’t. These are the things that bring us together so we can be together, rather than what pulls us apart so we’ll be apart.

The bottom line here is that I’m totally convinced. Donna Brazile has proven definitively that Obama is not acting dictatorially. There was only one more tweet she needed, but she was just too good of a person to do it. So I’ve created it for her using a copy of photoshop I got at my prom.


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