All The Things Are Racist, Especially Everything! – A Typical Sunday At #MSDNC

by Caleb Howe

Part I of III.

On MSNBC’s Melissa Harris-Perry this morning, the panelists took part in a “pop quiz” wherein the host would show a tweet, and the guests would guess who sent the tweet from a multiple choice list. I would give you the names of the panelists but, let’s be honest, who really cares? In a shocking twist one could never possibly have predicted for this show on this network, it was determined by the group consciousness of the panel that, indeed, ALL THE THINGS ARE RACIST!!!

MSNBC. We put the baiting back in race-baiting. And the bating back in mast… well you get the picture.

Let’s take a look at each tweet.

Says the panel: Well nothing about the tweet, really. But nameless cookie-cutter token gay liberal number one says “I was watching MSNBC … and they brought on this white, racist republican …”

OK, first of all, I absolutely love the way white liberals absolutely love to use the word white as if it is a self-evident pejorative. How droll. But even better is after he says “white racist republican” an off-screen voice says in mock incredulity “what?” Get it? Because it’s so obvious and common that saying it is, like, so redundant, oh my gosh! He then goes on to say that they – they being white racist republicans (what??) – they always bring up Lincoln as their go-to-guy to prove that they (what?) aren’t racist, and isn’t that dumb because it’s so long ago. Which is funny because slavery was even longer ago and yet YOU ARE STILL GUILTY OF IT, WHITEY! Anyway, they (what?) always bring up Lincoln, he says, and then adds Lincoln was still also kind of racist anyway. So there!! We have proved the tweet from the RNC is stupid and racist! Err … we guess.

Next up (tweet since deleted):

“It’s official. Ohio State is the luckiest team in the tournament. #TrailOfTears”

bruce-braley-tweet

Says the panel: Who could have sent this one? The first dingus to ding in on the multiple choice says “whichever one of them is white”. Pretty sure that was cookie-cutter gay liberal talking, and oh so cleverly. Because white! HA HA! Turns out the tweeter was a democrat, which they determine with some shock!! “And he’s a democrat!” they lament. Because God KNOWS democrats are too clean and articulate to be racist. I mean, they barely even use a negro dialect unless they want to! So the verdict on the second tweet is, very differently from the first one, republicans are super racist! *whew* that was close.

And the third tweet (since deleted):

JIMMY KIMMEL PUT YOURSELF IN MY SHOES … OH NO THAT MEANS YOU WOULD HAVE GOTTEN TOO MUCH GOOD P**** IN YOUR LIFE… — KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) September 27, 2013

Says the panel: Token gay liberal again: “White people PAAANICCKED”. See? Do you see?? Even Kanye West saying something stupid about something stupid to a comedian via twitter is proof that white people are racist! But not the democrat kind of white people. That other, gross kind.

And the fourth tweet:

Says the panel: I bet you can guess. Can you guess? Yeah, you can guess. McCain isn’t making a funny insult based on the news of the day, implying that Ahmadinejad is a buffoon. No, he’s making a racist slur because the evil, jew-hating, holocaust-denying, homosexual-executing, ruthless dictator in question happens to be “a muslim, and brownish”. It’s not witty commentary and a play on the news, it’s racism!! And did you also notice that the three choices of who might have sent this tweet were all republicans? Including Marco Rubio who also, oh dear liberal morons, happens to be “brownish”?

This is just one segment of today’s show on MSNBC. And what did we learn? That whites are republican and racist and racists are republican and white, and tweets prove white republican racists are white and racist and republican even when they’re sent by, about, and to people who are none of the above.

Where would be without the guidance of these borg-like parrots at MSNBC vomiting up their smarmy self-aggrandizing “banter” assuring us all of their moral superiority and letting us know that there is no substantive policy to discuss in America, no ideological and political divides based on true intellectual differences of opinion, indeed no redeeming virtues for anyone who dares not identify as a hard left semi-socialist free-speech hating, latte-sipping, dyed in the wool, GET ME JON STEWART AND KATHY GRIFFIN AND THE FULL BLU-RAY SPECIAL EDITION COLLECTION OF WEST WING STAT!!!! liberal democrat. No, instead, there is only left and holy, or right and racist. Those are your choices America.

But what do you care? You’re just a white republican racist anyway.

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