Play this while reading the tweets of the epic Net Neutrality battle between Liberty Jedi Ted Cruz and recently-turned-to-the-dark-side Mark Hamill.
It all began when Luke became a Sith Lord and began shilling for the totalitarian galactic empire:
Cute video Ajit "Aren't I Precious?" Pai 🤮-but you are profoundly unworthy 2 wield a lightsaber-A Jedi acts selflessly for the common man-NOT lie 2 enrich giant corporations. Btw-did you pay John Williams his royalty? @AjitPaiFCCorpShill #AJediYouAreNOT pic.twitter.com/SpIcOEySUY— Mark Hamill (@HamillHimself) December 16, 2017
Fearing the trade federation, he demanded the fascist state seize control of rebel communications in order to impose the will of the government.
Then arose a champion:
.@HammillHimself Luke, I know Hollywood can be confusing, but it was Vader who supported govt power over everything said & done on the Internet. That's why giant corps (Google, Facebook, Netflix) supported the FCC power grab of net neutrality. Reject the dark side: Free the net! https://t.co/nARkMvIEYk— Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) December 17, 2017
He struck at the heart of Sith Lord Hamill, who could only muster a witless liberal strike from the bowels of Huffpo:
Thanks for smarm-spaining it to me @tedcruz I know politics can be confusing, but you'd have more credibility if you spelled my name correctly. I mean IT'S RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF YOU! Maybe you're just distracted from watching porn at the office again❤️-mh https://t.co/nHpJVG1Wpe— Mark Hamill (@HamillHimself) December 17, 2017
Truly he had joined the wretched hive of scum and villainy. But the TedNado struck back mightily with his lightsaber of truth and logic:
Yes, that's it. So sorry to misspell your name. Respond not with facts, but with anger. Who was it that said, "Fear is the path to the dark side…fear leads to anger…anger leads to hate"? (1/2) https://t.co/uwMMzgKC1R— Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) December 17, 2017
Narrator: It was yoda.
(2/2) Rather than insults, try civil discussion of facts. Fact 1: until 2015, the FCC had NO authority over Internet. The Net grew free & unregulated. Fact 2: W/ "net neutrality" the FCC declared power to regulate everything said & done on Internet. That's really bad for freedom. https://t.co/uwMMzgKC1R— Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) December 17, 2017
Bested by the Jedi Tednado’s swifter saber, Sith Lord Hamill sank and scurried away to bask in the adoration of his ignorant legions of mindless fans.
What a jerk.
At least Cruz can now tell him, “Luke, I am your father!” because he schooled him hard on net neutrality…
Have an open thread, enjoy yourself a while!