REPORT: Iran successfully launches monkey into space

If this report is true it certainly isn’t good news for Israel, the US or Saudi Arabia:

YAHOO NEWS – Iran has successfully launched a live monkey into space, the state news agency IRNA said on Monday, touting it as an advance in a missile and space program that has alarmed the West and Israel.


There was no independent confirmation of the report, which quoted a defense ministry statement. It said the launch coincided “with the days of” the Prophet Mohammad’s birthday last week but gave no date.

IRNA said the monkey was sent into space on a Kavoshgar rocket. The rocket reached a height of more than 120 km (75 miles) and “returned its shipment intact”, IRNA reported.

The Islamic Republic’s state-run, English-language Press TV said the monkey was retrieved alive.

Iran announced plans in 2011 to send a monkey into space, but that attempt was reported to have failed.

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  • Rshill7

    Iran better stop all the monkey business before Obama, uh, sends them a Trojan Horse, named Kerry, loaded with stern letters, UN resolutions, and an F-16 or two.

    • Conniption Fitz

      Plus a few hundred billion US taxpayer dollars.

    • Landscaper

      Anytime I hear the word [ Trojan ] now and my first thought is of Sandra Fluke. Please reframe from the use of that analogy.

      • Rshill7

        Well, there’s at least one swinger in Iran.

    • las1

      Since Mohammed said that Jews are the descendents of apes and pigs, and using Mohammed’s own definition of what a Jew is, this just must tick Muslims off NO END. The Jews beat Muslims at everything!

      And now this… on the Muslims’ own turf even… using their own rocket (probably borrowed from North Korea), the Jews STILL manage to beat Muslims into space.

      “165 Jews… have won the Nobel Prize, despite there being only 12 million on the planet. There are 1.4 billion Muslims on the planet, yet they’ve only won 6 Nobel Prizes.”

  • Army_Pilot1967

    I think that’s significant news: Iran puts Ahmadinejad into space. Now if they’ll just leave him that forever we’ll all be better off!!!!!!

    • Landscaper

      Army, you stole my smack down !
      I thought he was a little taller than that.

      • Army_Pilot1967

        LOL……I just couldn’t resist posting a comment about that monkey Ahmadinejad!!!!

      • warpmine

        He might be but not much!

    • stage9

      I think we’re ALL on the same page with this one. LOL!

    • PatrickHenrysBody


  • sDee

    2009: Obama eliminates NASA’s 1.1 billion dollar Manned Space Flight Program.
    2009: Obama transfers 0.9 billion dollars to the State Department for aid to Hamas.
    2009: Obama assigns NASA Director’s top priority to be “Muslim Nation Outreach”

    Iranian Space Agency Logo:

    Obama’s redesigned US Missile defense Agency Logo

  • Rshill7

    I’ll bet that monkey was descended from apes and…apes.

    Is that a banana in his hand or is he just happy to be home?

    Next time to make it more fun, they should send an entire barrel of monkeys. What could be funner than that?

    • Nothing better on a Monday mornin’ than a Rshill 😉 thanks mybear. You’re making me laugh.

  • keninil

    Anybody can launch a live monkey into space; the question is “Was Morsi still alive when he returned?”

  • sDee

    The plan was for Ahmadinejad to declare the blazing reentry as the return of the Shia saviour, the 12th Imam, the Mehdi..

    Damn problem was a goat herder found the capsule before the recovery team.

    • Rshill7

      They can throw him back down in the well now. I’manutjob should give him a cellphone so he knows when to climb back out.

  • Watchman74

    This would have been big news ohh 60 years ago!

  • MadAsHellJack

    Listen if Iran got a monkey into space I’m a monkey’s uncle. I do not believe this for one second. Is that a black monkey or a white monkey, or maybe it’s half-black? I knew we could make this thread racist! I call major BS, just more scare tactics by ImaDinnerjacket.

    • Rshill7

      “Here we come….walkin’ down the street. We get the funniest looks from…everyone we meet.

      Hey, hey we’re the….”

  • The result of the NObama mandated NASA “outreach” to the Muslim world. He must have meant. Give them all your technology and help to build rockets. What could go wrong?!

    • Rshill7

      Monkey shines!

      Especially after you Simoniz him.

      Preference by L’oreal works too 🙂

  • colliemum

    True or not – poor monkey!

    Where is PETA when they’re needed? Or will the book this as another quaint cultural custom by muslims which we must disregard?

  • bjohnson55

    The monkeys name was Achmed I need a job.

    • stage9


  • mikeinidaho

    How come no one else is independently confirming this launch? Very suspicious!
    I would think that the BMD ships in the area would have at least tracked this missile launch.
    I’m gonna’ call BS on these idgets!

  • stage9

    Awww look at cute little Ahmadinejad….

  • Sober_Thinking

    I’m unclear… did they mean monkey or Iranian astronaut? NASA needs to make them feel good about this whole thing.

    Nothing good can come from this.

    • Rshill7

      I heard CIA operative Little Bunny Foo Foo is already on the ground there to either take this monkey out, or bop him on the head.

      • poljunkie

        I used to love that song.

        • poljunkie

          Let me add, 40 years ago, and then again when my son was young.

          • Sober_Thinking

            Lol. Thanks for clarifying… 🙂

  • las1


  • warpmine

    New Headline: Iran launches descendent of the prophet Mohammad into space.

    • Rshill7

      I wonder whose nephew this monkey is.

      • PatrickHenrysBody


  • Achmadinedschad?

  • poljunkie

    Speaking of monkeys!!!!

    No…. Barbara WaWa has the chicken pox. I’m sorry but the thought of her with calamine lotion dotted all over her face kind makes me laugh.

    Barbara, you should have gotten the Shingles vaccination. Walgreens gives them for 12.00.

  • poljunkie

    The article I read said they “launched” the rocket up 75 miles and then it fell back.

    BUT I dont think the article is real, and I wonder if the other news outlets THAT PICKED UP THE STORY— Like FOX< CNN< YAHOO ETC have been punked.

    © Copyright 2012 | The Daily Squib is a curious satirical publication and should therefore be taken fu**ing seriously 😉

  • hbnolikeee

    You know, Ahmadinejad doesn’t look much worse for the trip either.

  • tinlizzieowner

    When they launch a Mullah into space, get back to me. 😉

    • PatrickHenrysBody

      LOL…Mullahs in space. Call the Muppets.

  • 1217Chic

    Poor animal, why don’t we give them Harry Reid in exchange?

  • Nukeman60

    At first, I thought that Iran had come to it’s senses and booted Imadinnerjacket out of the country – all the way into space. Alas, it seems that is not the case. 🙁

    However, I did hear that the monkey stopped off at the International Space Station to ask for asylum and NASA turned him down, stating that their main goal was now an outreach program to islam and taking in the monkey would violate that mission. The monkey has since disappeared and is feared in an Iranian prison.

  • PatrickHenrysBody

    Why did Iran launch a monkey into space? They couldn’t find an Iranian qualified or intelligent enough to do the job. I guess outsourcing works in Iran.

  • kaina pittbull

    how come the monkey does not have a burka on ?