And it shall be in the end of days that your sons shall dream dreams and your old men shall prophecy of the one true toupee who shall come upon thee with many talents of wealth, but few tithings. His boasting shall be huge, phenomenal and you know what, probably the most boastful in the history of all times.
Lo, he shall appear before the unbeliever in tubs of butter:
You never know what you’re going to get when you open up a container of butter. KSDK-TV received an interesting photo on Facebook from a viewer that opened up a new package of butter spread and saw Donald Trump staring back at her.
Jan Castellano said she pulled back the plastic on an Earth Origins Organic Spread and saw Trump staring back at her.
Thusly did the seventh angel blow his horn and open the scroll of butter:
And though the unbeliever saw the miraculous signs, they believeth not. They shall burn in the lake of stupid losers forever and every, verily I say unto thee.
A reading from the book of the Trumpocalypse. May the toupee bless us forever and ever.