JUST IN: Democrats have found a cure for the Coronavirus!

Democrats have found a cure for the Coronavirus! It will cost trillions but they are sure it will work:

That’s right! Universal healthcare, otherwise known as Medicare for All, would save the day! If America just had MFA along with government paid sick leave, then we could kick that old Chinese Coronavirus right in the keister and say sayonara!

And you know who could pay for Medicare for All? Using my newly discovered liberal math, it suddenly appears that Mike Bloomberg could afford it. Surely if he can afford to give all 327 million Americans an easy million, as we heard last week, then he won’t mind paying for at least a decade of universal health care for a measly 32 trillion. He’d have plenty of finger lickin’ lunch money left over!

Better yet, why doesn’t the government just get 3 magic beans from that other lady who was running for president, er…Marianne Williamson, and plant a money tree on the lawn of the White House. That would solve all our problems! It is also said the sap from such a tree will not only cure the coronavirus, but all ills!


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