Today on Twitter, CNN contributor and political analyst Donna Brazile has gone above and beyond the call of duty in asserting the righteousness of President Obama. Twitchy noted her first burst of the absurd this morning:
.@BarackObama. Enjoy #PresidentsDay. With Congress on recess, this is action day! Let's move America forward.
— Donna Brazile (@donnabrazile) February 17, 2014
Got that? Mr. President, YOU’RE HOME ALONE!! Put some paint cans on strings, order a pizza and let’s do this. If those mean old republicans come back, ooh we are going make them slip on marbles so HARD!!
But that wasn’t the end of Brazile’s tweetnanigans. No, she then reacted to people reacting to her reactions:
Hateful tweets, incivility, rudeness or simple name calling will never get America moving forward. Hate is not a winning political strategy.
— Donna Brazile (@donnabrazile) February 17, 2014
To which we got this hilarious retort:
Apparently @donnabrazile thinks when congress is on recess, the President is allowed to sneak into the Capitol and pass laws by himself.
— L (@OrwellForks) February 17, 2014
Oh the humanity. Brazile couldn’t stop now. In for a penny, in for a pound and all that. She decided to lay to rest all the mockery and just boil it down to the straight facts, thereby proving her point finally and fully using logic and good sense and ba ha ha ha ha h aha ha h haha aaaaaah:
Some conservatives accuse Pres. Obama of acting like a dictator. First of all, dictators don’t have to act—that’s why they’re dictators.
— Donna Brazile (@donnabrazile) February 17, 2014
DO YOU SEE?? Dictators don’t HAVE to act. Because they are dictators!! If that doesn’t make perfect sense to you, then I don’t know what bubble bath your window has a churning wombat skillet.
And we continue …
Tea Party refusal to engage in any bipartisanship has forced President Obama into the role of the kid who goes to the prom alone.
— Donna Brazile (@donnabrazile) February 17, 2014
Going to prom alone? Yes that is EXACTLY the same. I remember fondly at my prom when we would all vote on legislation but then that kid Maynard would show up with his mom and it was all delays for big business and roughshod alteration of our carefully enacted Pizza Friday plans. Good times.
Nobody would go to the Prom with him, and now that he went on his own, they’re all talking about him. #fearfactor #bullying
— Donna Brazile (@donnabrazile) February 17, 2014
Right. People aren’t talking about abuse of executive power because it goes against the very constitutional nature of our nation or shows a blatant disregard and disrespect for the rule of law. No, it’s because he COULDN’T GET A DATE. This metaphor is so bad it’s hard to even follow when you’re just making jokes about it. I wish I had a date to this post. That would make it easier.
This is not a case of a president overstepping his bounds. Obama is doing what he can to help the American people. Let's move forward.
— Donna Brazile (@donnabrazile) February 17, 2014
But see, now it all comes together in a neat little package with a pretty prom bow on it. You can’t be overstepping your bounds if you’re doing it to be nice! It’s like that nice man at the subway the other day who robbed me. If he hadn’t, I might have bought a soda that WAS TOO BIG. Thank God for good samaritans!!
I gather that she was now finished making her devastating case, so I can only assume the following was sort of like dropping the mic.
Now the GOP has to fight over who they are going to fight over. It's time they get busy fighting for what they are for – not against. Agree
— Donna Brazile (@donnabrazile) February 17, 2014
Stop being against what you’re against, and start being for what you’re for. Also, stop being as tall as you are and start being as short as you aren’t. These are the things that bring us together so we can be together, rather than what pulls us apart so we’ll be apart.
The bottom line here is that I’m totally convinced. Donna Brazile has proven definitively that Obama is not acting dictatorially. There was only one more tweet she needed, but she was just too good of a person to do it. So I’ve created it for her using a copy of photoshop I got at my prom.
