ABC News reports that Courtney Baker took more than a year to write this letter to her doctor.
Baker’s doctor advised her to have an abortion because they found out her child had Down syndrome. Baker rejected the idea, but her doctor explained to her that if she had the baby, her quality of life would considerably diminish and asked her to reconsider having an abortion.
But she refused to do so, and a year later she wrote a moving letter to her doctor, a letter she knew she needed to write when she had the baby.
She sent it to her doctor at the end of May.
Here’s the letter:
Dear Doctor,
A friend recently told me of when her prenatal specialist would see her child during her sonograms, he would comment, “He’s perfect.” Once her son was born with Down syndrome, she visited that same doctor. He looked at her little boy and said, “I told you. He’s perfect.”
Her story tore me apart. While I was so grateful for my friend’s experience, it filled me with such sorrow because of what I should have had. I wish you would have been that doctor.
I came to you during the most difficult time in my life. I was terrified, anxious and in complete despair. I didn’t know the truth yet about my baby, and that’s what I desperately needed from you. But instead of support and encouragement, you suggested we terminate our child. I told you her name, and you asked us again if we understood how low our quality of life would be with a child with Down syndrome. You suggested we reconsider our decision to continue the pregnancy.
From that first visit, we dreaded our appointments. The most difficult time in my life was made nearly unbearable because you never told me the truth. My child was perfect.
I’m not angry. I’m not bitter. I’m really just sad. I’m sad the tiny beating hearts you see every day don’t fill you with a perpetual awe. I’m sad the intricate details and the miracle of those sweet little fingers and toes, lungs and eyes and ears don’t always give you pause. I’m sad you were so very wrong to say a baby with Down syndrome would decrease our quality of life. And I’m heartbroken you might have said that to a mommy even today. But I’m mostly sad you’ll never have the privilege of knowing my daughter, Emersyn.
Because, you see, Emersyn has not only added to our quality of life, she’s touched the hearts of thousands. She’s given us a purpose and a joy that is impossible to express. She’s given us bigger smiles, more laughter and sweeter kisses than we’ve ever known. She’s opened our eyes to true beauty and pure love.
So my prayer is that no other mommy will have to go through what I did. My prayer is that you, too, will now see true beauty and pure love with every sonogram.
And my prayer is when you see that next baby with Down syndrome lovingly tucked in her mother’s womb, you will look at that mommy and see me then tell her the truth: “Your child is perfect.”
Wow.
This letter reminds me of what Rich Mullins told his sister, who was upset over her newborn having a birth defect that would require multiple surgeries. His sister said she was angry with God and wondered what she had done wrong to deserve this.
Then she got a call from her brother, Rich, who told her that he was so proud of her.
In a confused way she asked “proud of me for what?”
He responded, “Don’t you know that God only gives kids with special needs to special people, that He knows can give them special love?”
I’ve always loved that response.
I hope this doctor, whoever he is, is filled with God’s love so that he truly understands what this mother is trying to tell him.