This is very odd. Do you remember that story from a roommate of Ted Cruz who trashed him during the primaries? Apparently he thought that everyone would cheer him on in telling this weird story about talking to Heidi Cruz.
He just ends up looking up like an ass.
1) So, here's how I ended up spending a very strange few minutes talking to Heidi Cruz.
— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) June 4, 2017
Keep in mind that he thought she acted “strange” – it says more about him than anything about her.
2) We’re in the courtyard where the 25th reunion is going on, and I’m talking to @joshtpm. And across the yard… there’s Ted and Heidi.
— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) June 4, 2017
3) And next to them, good old Dave Panton (whom I love). Now, I certainly wasn’t planning on walking over. BUT…
— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) June 4, 2017
4) A few minutes later, I see my friends Alexis and Gene chatting with Dave Panton, and signaling for me to join. I know what they’re doing.
— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) June 4, 2017
5) They’re being evil. After all, Ted is five feet away. In my mind, I give their evil a respectful nod. Well played. I’m in. Let’s do this.
— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) June 4, 2017
6) So I walk over and start chatting with Dave. He says, “There’s someone I want you to meet.” Oh for fuck’s… but you know what? I’M GAME.
— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) June 4, 2017
7) He taps Heidi on the shoulder and says, “Heidi, this is Craig Mazin.” Now, here’s where it gets sort of… strange.
— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) June 4, 2017
8) There are a number of possible reactions that I would have categorized as “reasonable to expect.” You know what I didn’t expect?
— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) June 4, 2017
9) I didn’t expect a thorough sort of detachment. Not angry, not interested, not even actively bored. I would have been fine with bored.
— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) June 4, 2017
Maybe Heidi isn’t as mean-spirited and vindictive as you are, guy.
10) It was more like meeting… I guess… a scientist? She looked at me pleasantly, and I told her that I was no fan of her husband’s. BUT:
— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) June 4, 2017
11) I was careful to add that I had nothing against her whatsoever. She said she understood. She then asked, in a scientific way…
— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) June 4, 2017
12) “Was it difficult being Ted’s roommate?” Ummm… well…. I’m kinda on record with that one. So… huh. Interesting scientific inquiry.
— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) June 4, 2017
13) So I said, “Yes. It was very difficult.” And she asked, and this is verbatim… “Was he messy?”
WAS
HE
MESSY????
— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) June 4, 2017
14) At this point, I’m feeling like maybe the scientist is trying to screw with me, but it seemed more likely that she was being sincere.
— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) June 4, 2017
15) So I said, “Yes, he was messy….”
Those ellipses indicate me making a “…but that wasn’t really the problem” face.
— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) June 4, 2017
16) She then asked, with the serene patience of a mother talking to a child who has reported trouble with a sibling… “Were *you* messy?”
— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) June 4, 2017
17) At this point, I glance around, like… is this real? In the far background, I see @joshtpm watching this. His expression is: pic.twitter.com/gYyrVNElaM
— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) June 4, 2017
18) Now, when she asked me “Were *you* messy?” I got the sense I wasn’t talking WITH her, but rather engaging in some bizarre dance.
— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) June 4, 2017
19) So I mumbled something like, “Ummm, yeah probably…” and then I sort of turned toward Dave, and she sort of turned toward someone else.
— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) June 4, 2017
20) It was over. I said to Dave that I liked her, because honestly, Heidi wasn't unpleasant. He said "she was Ted's best decision."
— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) June 4, 2017
21) To which I responded, “Damned by faint praise…but still, she seems very nice.” Then I spent some time talking to Dave’s son.
— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) June 4, 2017
22) Dave Panton’s son is 16. Very smart. I’ll keep my chat with him confidential. All I’ll say is… there is hope for the world.
— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) June 4, 2017
23) Ted and I never spoke. The 28-year streak is intact. Now, please excuse me while I eternally ponder “Was he messy?”
/end pic.twitter.com/OhjFGhdz0X— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) June 4, 2017
So basically:
So you were a jerk and she owned you. Great story. https://t.co/X5B6KmuOfp
— John Podhoretz (@jpodhoretz) June 4, 2017
Some other reactions:
Only thing strange about that encounter is that you thought normal small talk was strange & justified a 23 tweet storm with I’M GAME in caps
— Tim Miller (@Timodc) June 4, 2017
TL;DR: You’re stuck in a college mindset & tried to stir up some shit but instead you stepped on a bunch of rakes & got owned by #HeidiCruz.
— JerryDunleavy (@JerryDunleavy) June 4, 2017
Yeah guy was a dumb idiot, but his friends are all dumb idiots and they hate Ted Cruz so much that they praise him for his dumb idiot story. Pretty pathetic.
And now you get an OPEN THREAD!!! Go nuts party people.