Earlier today Her Appurtenance The Lady Obama’s flight to Andrews Air Force Base was inconvenienced by the nugatory reprobates that make up . . . well just read the transcript.
Air Traffic Controller 1: Flight 2-0-9er this is Andrews. Please reduce speed to 1/3rd as you approach Runway 17
Air Force One Foxtrot: Andrews this is Flight 2-0-9er, reducing speed to 1/3rd
Air Traffic Controller 1: Flight 2-0-9er this is Andrews. Please reduce speed to 1/3rd.
Air Force One Foxtrot: Andrews this is Flight 2-0-9er. We have reduced throttle to 1/3rd.
Air Traffic Controller 1: Flight 2-0-9er this is Andrews. You’re still coming in hot. Check your instrumentation.
Air Force One Foxtrot: Andrews this is Flight 2-0-9er. It may be inertia.
Air Traffic Controller 1: Flight 2-0-9er this is Andrews. Inertia? How much are you carrying?
Air Force One Foxtrot: Andrews this is Flight 2-0-9er. 5 tons.
Air Traffic Controller 1: That’s 1 ton over max! I mean Flight 2-0-9er this is Andrews. Why are you over capacity?
Air Force One Foxtrot: Andrews this is Flight 2-0-9er. We’re carrying 5 belts and 1 FLBOB
Air Traffic Controller 2: Florida Bob?
Air Traffic Controller 1: (Covering Mic) First Lady Big Ol Butt
Air Traffic Controller 2: ARE THEY INSANE?!
Air Force One Foxtrot: Andrews this is Flight 2-0-9er. Say again?
Air Traffic Controller 1: Flight 2-0-9er this is Andrews. Disregard. Try to increase distance by making like a snake.
Air Force One Foxtrot: Andrews this is Flight 2-0-9er. It’s not working this tail is too much to handle
Air Traffic Controller 2: The plane’s?
Air Traffic Controller 1: (Covering Mic) No, the First Lady’s. That thing’s a Tonka Truck. (Uncovering Mic) Just swing around and try again. We’ll cover this miscalculation by saying a C-17 didn’t take off in time. It’s not like they’ll fire us.