Play this while reading the tweets of the epic Net Neutrality battle between Liberty Jedi Ted Cruz and recently-turned-to-the-dark-side Mark Hamill.
It all began when Luke became a Sith Lord and began shilling for the totalitarian galactic empire:
Cute video Ajit "Aren't I Precious?" Pai š¤®-but you are profoundly unworthy 2 wield a lightsaber-A Jedi acts selflessly for the common man-NOT lie 2 enrich giant corporations. Btw-did you pay John Williams his royalty? @AjitPaiFCCorpShill #AJediYouAreNOT pic.twitter.com/SpIcOEySUY
— Mark Hamill (@MarkHamill) December 16, 2017
Fearing the trade federation, he demanded the fascist state seize control of rebel communications in order to impose the will of the government.
Then arose a champion:
.@HammillHimself Luke, I know Hollywood can be confusing, but it was Vader who supported govt power over everything said & done on the Internet. That's why giant corps (Google, Facebook, Netflix) supported the FCC power grab of net neutrality. Reject the dark side: Free the net! https://t.co/nARkMvIEYk
— Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) December 17, 2017
He struck at the heart of Sith Lord Hamill, who could only muster a witless liberal strike from the bowels of Huffpo:
Thanks for smarm-spaining it to me @tedcruz I know politics can be confusing, but you'd have more credibility if you spelled my name correctly. I mean IT'S RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF YOU! Maybe you're just distracted from watching porn at the office againā¤ļø-mh https://t.co/nHpJVG1Wpe
— Mark Hamill (@HamillHimself) December 17, 2017
Truly he had joined the wretched hive of scum and villainy. But the TedNado struck back mightily with his lightsaber of truth and logic:
Yes, that's it. So sorry to misspell your name. Respond not with facts, but with anger. Who was it that said, "Fear is the path to the dark sideā¦fear leads to angerā¦anger leads to hate"? (1/2) https://t.co/uwMMzgKC1R
— Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) December 17, 2017
Narrator: It was yoda.
(2/2) Rather than insults, try civil discussion of facts. Fact 1: until 2015, the FCC had NO authority over Internet. The Net grew free & unregulated. Fact 2: W/ "net neutrality" the FCC declared power to regulate everything said & done on Internet. That's really bad for freedom. https://t.co/uwMMzgKC1R
— Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) December 17, 2017
Bested by the Jedi Tednado’s swifter saber, Sith Lord Hamill sank and scurried away to bask in the adoration of his ignorant legions of mindless fans.
What a jerk.
At least Cruz can now tell him, “Luke, I am your father!” because he schooled him hard on net neutrality…
Have an open thread, enjoy yourself a while!