I have received a new communique from my Spy Squirrel in the White House. This is what he overheard late last night.
Napolitano: Mr. President we have a situation on the border.
Obama: So, Michelle tells me it’s making kids fat, the eating.
Napolitano: I’m not talking about eating at Taco Bell.
Obama: Who’s talking about Taco Bell?
Napolitano: Well I said the border…
Obama: Fat kids, they’re always eating.
Napolitano: Focus Mr President or I’ll have my men loosen another screw on your podium.
Obama: Right, we’re talking about room and border.
Napolitano: No, just the border. You know, the one down south?
Obama: Got ya. Down south. Like Memphis.
Napolitano: No, further south. By Mexico.
Obama: They have one too?
Napolitano: Yes, Mr President. That’s the one I’m talking about.
Obama: Right, so they have fat kids?
Napolitano: People are getting killed down there and worse.
Obama: Worse then dying?
Napolitano: Yes, people are getting on the news and talking about it.
Obama: That is worse. They’re Zombies.
Napolitano: Not Zombies, their family members.
Obama: Zombies have families? Well, yeah I’d guess they’d have too.
Napolitano: Mr. President people are getting shot. This latest case deals with a murder that happened on a boat.
Obama: Ah, they were boarded by the Jews.
Napolitano: No, Pirates.
Obama: Can’t be. I took care of the pirates last year.
Napolitano: Those were in Africa, these are operating on waterways shared with Texas.
Obama: Seriously I did. Just look at this JibJab cartoon. I’m all Whoo! Haa!
Napolitano: Sir, we have to do something before this gets out of control.
Obama: Out of control? You mean MSNBC might not be able to contain it?
Napolitano: What should I do?
Obama: Tell them we’ll build a fence.
Napolitano: On the lake?
Obama: No, give the lake to Mexico like we did with the park. No lake, no park, no problem.
Napolitano: So you want me to start construction on a fence around the lake.
Obama: I didn’t say start construction. I said say you’ll build it.
Napolitano: Shouldn’t you get Gibbs to say that?
Obama: What? That knucklehead?
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