SNL Cold Open: How Far Will Obama Go To Sell Obamacare? Bieber Tongue Bath Far? Or Just Pope Pimpin’?

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This is mildly amusing. But also totally not, in that it’s barely a parody. The push to sell Obamacare has been a rapidly devolving journey into the absurd, and each new advertisement or “celebrity” appearance by Obama moves us one step closer to the theater of the macabre.

How bad is it? Valerie Jarrett is in Hollywood meeting with the stars and their handlers, writers, producers, and entourages to convince them to product-place Obamacare in their scripts and shows, which I’m sure won’t be at all awkward or lame or terrible or eye-gougey. “Up next on Once Upon A Time, the evil queen casts an insurance spell on all of Storybrooke using nothing more than Healthcare.gov. Will Hook’s pre-existing missing hand be covered? Find out now!”

Have we reached making out with Bieber level yet? Not quite. But how far off can it be? The important thing to remember is this. If you don’t sign up for Obamacare, everyone will be all like “ugh”. And you be all like “wha?” And then the White House will be all like “dude.” And you’ll go “hot.” So, you know, watch out for that and stuff.

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