More details have now been released about the manifest of Audrey Hale, the transgender pretender who shot up the Christian Covenant School, killing nine children and three adults.
In short, she wrote about how she would kill to get puberty blockers in the state, as well as a bunch of sexual stuff and how she hated her conservative Christian upbringing.
Here’s more from the Daily Mail:
Transgender killer Audrey Hale wrote about her ‘imaginary penis’ and how she would ‘kill’ to get puberty blockers in the weeks before her horrific attack on the Covenant School in Nashville last year.
The Tennessee Star obtained some four dozen pages of Hale’s writings that shed light on her female-to-male transition and why she shot and killed six people at the elementary school in March 2023.
Hale wrote about anger toward her parents, how she hated her conservative Christian upbringing, and how she had suffered because hormone blockers were not available when she was as a child.
The explosive writings, sometimes referred to as Hale’s ‘manifesto,’ have been a source of controversy, with many accusing officials of keeping them secret because they would hurt the trans community.
Now released, they help explain why the 28-year-old artist, who identified as a male named Aiden, shot her way into the Tennessee school, killing three adults and three nine-year-olds, before responding officers killed her.
“Imaginary Penis”
Hale’s journal entries begin with the title ‘My Imaginary Penis’ and include a crude drawing, according to The Star.
‘My penis exists in my head. I swear to god I’m a male,’ Hale wrote in the papers, which were recovered by police.
She then wrote about her desire to have a penis so she could have sex with a woman, in her assumed identity as Aiden.
She wrote about how using that name on a job application for a delivery position led to issues with the company’s background check.
Hale also said that being raised as a girl was ‘torture.’
She worried that high school classmates would call her ‘dyke or a f*****’, she wrote.
That all changed when she learned about transgenderism in her early 20s.
‘I finally found the answer — that changing one’s gender is possible,’ wrote Hale.
But her mum was not on board, Hale wrote.
‘What she believes, how she grew up, conservatively, and that LGBTQ — especially transgender — was an enigma, nearly non-existent,’ Hale wrote.
She added: ‘I hate parental views; how my mom sees me as a daughter — and she’d not bear to want to lose that daughter because a son would be the death of Audrey.’
‘God, I am such a pervert.’
Hale used violent language when talking about the emergence of puberty blockers in the 2010s.
They were hailed at the time for helping transgender pre-teens safely delay the onset of puberty.
‘I’d kill to have those resources,’ wrote Hale.
‘2007 was the birth of puberty blockers and a newfound discovery for treatment of non-conforming transgender children.’
They came too late for Hale, who ‘was in the 6th grade, puberty already hit me,’ she wrote.
She also discussed fantasizing about having sex as a man by creating scenes with her stuffed animals.
‘I can pretend to be them [and] do the things boys do [and] experience my boy self as Tony,’ she wrote.
Tony was her ‘stuffed boy doll’ which she wrote ‘is like the boy I am in another form.’
She simulated intercourse between Tony and another soft toy over the course of hours, she wrote.
She even took photos of the scene and lost track of time.
‘God, I am such a pervert.’ Hale wrote, ‘I waste too much time in my fantasies.’
The entry was written just 16 days before Hale dressed in combat gear and launched her deadly raid on the Covenant School, armed with two assault-type guns and a handgun.
‘So now in America, it makes one a criminal to have a gun or, be transgender, or non-binary’
Hale also wrote politically charged comments about the rights of gun owners and trans people.
‘So now in America, it makes one a criminal to have a gun or, be transgender, or non-binary,’ she wrote Hale.
‘God, I hate those s***head politicians,’ she added.
The papers were recovered from Hale’s car, which she left outside the school, and were provided to the Star by a source close to the investigation.
After the shooting, Nashville’s Metropolitan Police Chief John Drake said his force had recovered the shooter’s manifesto, as well as hand-drawn maps in her car, and said they would eventually be made public.
But both city police and the FBI later said the material shouldn’t be released because it could hurt the investigations.
Previously released notes
Last November, three page of notes written by Hale ahead of the shooting were leaked.
The notes revealed Hale’s plan to target ‘white privileged cr***ers’ and ‘f****ts,’ before turning the gun on herself.
In an entry on the day of the attack, Hale wrote: ‘Today is the day. The day has finally come. I can’t believe it’s here. Don’t know how I was able to get this far but here I am.
‘I’m a little nervous but excited too, been excited for the past two weeks.’
She then declared: ‘I’m ready … I hope my victims aren’t.’
‘God let my wrath take over my anxiety. It might be 10 minutes tops. It might be 3-7. It’s gonna go quick. I hope I have a high death count. Ready to die,’ she wrote, before heading on her way toward Covenant.
She was ultimately shot dead at 10.25am, 14 minutes after she began shooting.
An autopsy revealed Hale’s clothing was covered in ‘handwritten words, drawings and numbers’.
It’s unclear what was written on her clothes.
The shooter also wrote a plastic orange anklet inscribed with the mysterious number ‘508407.’
Following that leak, seven Nashville police officers were suspended after a probe into how the notes became public.
Below is the only photo I can find from the manifesto. I checked the Tennessee Star and was not able to find the fuller manifesto they obtained:
[UPDATE]
I should add that when I was searching for the manifesto, I ran across more articles at the Tennessee Star suggesting that Hale used pell grant funds to buy the guns and was a 22-year psychiatric patient at Vanderbilt University Medical Center.
A search warrant served to VUMC revealed the prescription medicine list Hale was on and a few other details:
According to notes taken by a person who reviewed documents obtained when the search warrant was executed, Hale was given access to Buspirone, Lexapro or Escitalopram, Hydroxyzine, and a sodium chloride nasal spray by doctors at VUMC.
Lexapro or Escitalopram is a depression medication from the family of drugs known as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). Common side effects for Lexapro include “mood swings, headache, tiredness, sleep changes, and brief feelings similar to electric shock,” according to WebMD, which added that “[s]ome conditions may become worse when this drug is suddenly stopped.”
Buspirone is an anxiety medication that the National Library of Medicine explains was first “developed as an antipsychotic” but later determined to have “useful anxiolytic features.”
The search warrant also resulted in information that confirmed Hale had thoughts of killing her father and committing a school shooting, had violent fantasies, and at one point expressed homicidal thoughts with a plan.
Elsewhere, Hale apparently told VUMC staff that she would not act on her fantasies. While she denied experiencing suicidal and homicidal ideations to VUMC, staff elsewhere reported she experienced them.
At one point, MNPD learned Hale was “[t]hinking a lot about death, both suicidal and homicidal,” and had fantasized about becoming a school shooter.