Folks, What’s It Gonna Take To Put You Into Obamacare Today? Seriously. Is It Begging? We’ll Beg!

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BRING IT ON DOWN TO HEALTHCAREVILLE. The administration’s efforts to pump up the numbers by pimping up the plans is reaching new highs and lows in the annals of facepalm. They have passed between the ferns and into the land of the beggars, assuring you that if you just sign up today a Nigerian prince can be returned to power and will wire you the money for *cough* enlargement pills that REALLY WORK, according to local singles in your area!

On last night’s SNL, we got a glimpse of where we’re going. And this morning, on Meet The Press, we had a brief reminder of where we’ve already been.

Ugh. But of course that merely scratches the surface. (And if you act now, the ShamWow! can help you un-scratch it!!)



gotinsurance-thumbWho can forget all the terrible Obamacare ads that have been trading around on Twitter? Or the awful Brocare and Hocare ad campaigns? OFA and HHS collectively decided that there is no depth to which they will not sink in pursuit of new signups. Whether it is pandering to the lowest common denominator or literally attempting to shame your audience, the push to procure the precious demographics needed not only to make the system to work, but far more importantly to fulfill Obama’s legacy aspirations, is a combination of blitz and glitz; a coffee-wielding, plaid sports-coatted facilitator who thinks your name is “friend”, ready with a toothy smile and a shiny “I Obamacared” sticker just for you!!

And then there’s this:

Are you sold yet? ARE YOU READY TO BUY, AMERICA???

The Obama administration will do just about anything to get into your pants. Specifically, the wallet part. And the sad reality of modern America is that democrats, liberals, commies, and etc are incapable of feeling ashamed by this. They have created a bizarre anti-universe where lame is the new cool, where being hip and different means being a docile sheep, a droning cog in the government’s machine. The counter-culture of the past has become the homogeneous, like-minded, rotary club of the future; eager to comply, anxious to please, desperate to serve.

Selling-out is the new rebellion, and “sock it to me” its most sincere plea.

If you aren’t down with the new piety, then you’re going to be out. And heaven knows there’s nothing worse than being uncool. Except being uncovered, of course.

All hail the overlords. So say we all.

Now get me my hot chocolate and feeties. I’ve got an uncle to berate.

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